Month: May 2009

Is your ego getting in your way?

Ego, as I’ve written about before, is simply the story you tell yourself about yourself.

If the story you tell yourself about yourself is that you’re a worthless piece of shit and you don’t deserve success (whatever success means to you) then you’ll probably never obtain success. On the other hand, if you believe your destined for greatness, your chances for ‘greatness’ certainly increase.

I believe that having a healthy ego is critical for success. In fact, I don’t know one ‘successful’ person who doesn’t think somewhat highly of themselves.

As I wrote in this post, if you don’t expect things of yourself before you can do them, then you will never, ever, do them.

So the question then becomes how do I get a healthy ego?

Well, expecting things of yourself comes from self confidence. And I believe the best way to gain self confidence is to actually do the things you really want to do.

I see this week after week with new clients. Sometimes even after the first few days, but usually after the first week or so, they’ll always tell me how amazing they feel. Besides the consistent healthy eating and exercise, I know a huge part of that comes from my clients keeping the promises that they make to themselves.

But ego can also hurt us greatly. Going back to my definition of ego (the story you tell yourself about yourself) if someone says anything that conflicts with your story, you’re most likely going to be upset because they are attacking your perceived sense of self.

But the problem with those who have enormous egos is that they’ll go to great lengths to protect and defend it. Too bad they can’t just let go of their ego for a second. If you really think about it, it’s amazing how many tiffs are simply about people defending their ego.

Do you care what people think of you?

Or do you care what you think about yourself more?

I think the answer to this question is whether or not you’re more extrinsically or intrinsically motivated.

After all, it’s nice to have positive things being said about you. But if you’re striving for remarkable in your life – negatives things will be said too. Not everyone will love you.

How much do you believe in yourself? Well, if you don’t believe in yourself you can have other people boost your ego. But the problem with relying on other people to constantly boost your ego is that you become in need of praise constantly.

Having both is ideal; however, it’s important to not rely too much on external praise.

Your ego can also limit your opportunities. Maybe you think your God’s gift to the world. Maybe you think you can do everything by yourself.

It’s the people with robust egos that aren’t nearly as self-aware as they should be that you should watch out for. How well do you know yourself? Can you laugh at yourself?

It’s amazing how often I see ego getting in the way of people getting into shape. The first step to getting in the shape you want to be is admitting to yourself that you aren’t (yet)!

The second step is realizing that you might need some help. Some people can’t even get past the first step. Many will never get past the second.

Ultimately, I believe you must have a healthy ego in order to succeed but it’s important to not let your ego get in your way. I also believe everyone cares how others view them. However, it’s those who care more about what they think about themselves than what others think about them that have the greatest chance for success.

Why I’ll probably never write a bestselling health and fitness book

First off, writing a bestselling book has nothing to do with writing. In fact, I can confidently say my writing is better than 99% of the health and fitness books out there.

Not because I’m such a great writer but because they’re all co-written. And co-written books (famous person’s name with…) are products. Not books!

They are created quickly to take advantage of the popularity of that ‘famous’ person.

Smart move indeed, as that’s obviously what people want.

See, most people want to talk about being healthy and fit, how they’re going to start exercising next Monday, about the ‘latest’ fad diet or exercise contraption, and how they’re going to really stick with it this time and finally lose that weight!

But, sadly and unfortunately, most people don’t want to actually do any of those things!

Talking about it with your friends and family makes you feel better. It creates a sense of forward motion. We’ve all done it. We do it with all the things we don’t want to do.

I’ve read countless ‘diet’ books. And I still go to Border’s and spend hours reading, all while shaking my head in amazement. I’m not amazed at the ‘famous’ people for putting their names on a book and selling it. I’m amazed at all of the people who constantly fool themselves by buying these books!

And although I get a kick out of reading the same book over and over in between different covers, I get the biggest kick out of reading the reviews.

In my opinion, the measurement of a good book is if it changes you for good. Who cares if you ‘see the world differently’ for the 5 hours after you’re finished reading it? The real question is if it changes how do you things indefinitely.

Like I tell my clients, I couldn’t care less if someone loses weight and then gains it all back. My goal is to help change my clients. I want to help them get and stay fit!

But most people are searching for that hidden secret and don’t want to work for it.

You want the secret? Here it is! Free of charge for the entire world to read and share: Eat right. Exercise and do those two things consistently!

If you can do those 3 things you’ll be in great shape. No question about it. Of course, that’s so much easier said than done and exactly why I started my company.

Do we really need more tactics? Do you really not know that fast food isn’t good for you? I’m sick and tired of all of these books telling you what you already know. We all know what to do (for the most part)!

That’s not the problem! The problem is that we don’t do it! Or, we don’t stick with it! And that’s the key to successful ‘dieting’!

And even though I hate the word diet, because that means it’s not permanent, it’s the truth. If you start something and feel you won’t be able to do it in 6 months, 1, 3, 5 years from now IT WON’T WORK!

It will not be sustainable. And you’ll find yourself being one of the 95% of people that quit.

The trick is of course to let go of your ego and admit you might need help, start something that is sustainable…and…wait for it…keep going!

And that’s exactly what my book would be mostly about. To nudge, push, and persuade you on why you should keep going! (Because if your thoughts don’t change, you’ll never change!) It would also be about why it’s so hard to keep on going! Without the right mindset and psychology, it’s impossible to make a “diet” a permanent lifestyle.

Not so much the tactics.

I’m also the first one to say that the only way to change how you look and feel is to change what you do. However, many people don’t want to actually change.

They want to talk about changing. And make themselves feel like they’re changing.

But not actually change.