9 months ago, I wrote a post about which passion you should pursue; if you’re lucky and have more than one.
But what if you don’t know what your passion is? Actually, forget that. What if you don’t know what you really want out of your life?
How will you ever get it? You won’t because you have no idea what you’re even pursuing.
I call this the “Interior Decorator Problem”. If you know your style and your likes and dislikes why pay someone to decorate your own home? People pay interior decorators when they have no idea what they want or like. (Or, they just don’t want to be bothered with decorating their house.)
I think many of us have the “Interior Decorator Problem” and are running around like organic chickens with our heads cut off.
Let me explain: When I’m working with my clients I try to find out their core motivation. I want to know why they really want to get in shape.
How about an aspiring entrepreneur? Whenever I get requests for advice (which I love) I’m curious to know why they really want to start the business in the first place.
If it’s not to solve a problem they have or because they feel they must start this business my advice usually is to not bother starting it at all. Because if it’s based on money, not only will they get bored, but there’s an even deeper reason why they want the money, that could be obtained without starting a business, which I’ve said before is only something you should do if you’re nuts.
However, once you know what you want, it’s so much easier to work backwards, and actually make it happen.
Many people believe that feeling guilty after eating something that’s unhealthy is ridiculous. If you want it – just eat it, they say. But can you really control guilt?
I think guilt comes from knowing that your actions (say, eating crap) aren’t in alignment with what you really want (say, weight loss, a flat stomach, more energy, looking good in jeans, etc.). In fact, when there is a disconnect between our actions and desires unhappiness will ensue.
I believe we all know exactly what we want when it comes to our health and fitness goals. I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t want to be healthy and fit nor someone who doesn’t have a dream vision of themselves.
It’s just that fear, excuses, rationalizations and justifications by our short term self convince our long term self we don’t want it when it comes to our health and fitness.
(That’s why self-aware people are the most successful. They don’t delude themselves into believing they’re taking action when they’re really not. Or, that they need don’t help when they clearly do.)
But health and fitness is one thing. Figuring out what to do with your life (one of the 3 questions we all have to try to answer) is another.
So working backwards again, maybe if you feel guilty or sick to your stomach, you know for sure that’s not what you want do with your life.
And knowing what you don’t want is certainly a key to finding out what you do want.
It takes a lot of focus to achieve anything worth achieving. But it’s so easy to lose focus if you’re not 100% certain that’s what you want.
Chances are if you’re not putting forth the effort, you don’t want what you thought you wanted. (I believe what we all want out of life, if you don’t have it already, is a lot closer than most people realize.)
But like all human beings we waver. We teeter. We jog in place.
All while reaching for more.