Author: Adam

Close but no cigar (Dude, where’s your new website?)

There’s a great story about a young man who goes to a very prosperous older man to ask for advice:

“What’s the most important thing in life?” the young man asks.

“Good judgment,” replies the older man.

“And how do I get that?” the young man continues.

“Experience,” replies the old man.

“But how do I get that?” persists the young man.

“Bad judgment,” concludes the old man.

To say I’m on cloud 9 is an understatement. Last February, I created for myself a dream business. I launched my homemade site with huge hopes and dreams.

Only 3 months after launching, I was in North Carolina with my buddy Ryan, as he was helping me take my site to the next level. Quickly after that, I realized that if I really wanted to go for it, I was going to have to invest serious money into my business.

I believed (and continue to!) believe in what I’m doing so my quest for a designer/developer began. Finally, I found a fully equipped professional design/development firm with amazing talent located right here in NYC.

It was very important to me to be able to meet with the team so they understood me, my business and also because I’m slightly a perfectionist (which I have always insisted was a good thing!).

Well, after many months I’ve realized it’s just not working out as much as I want it to. We were really close to launching the new site but ultimately, I just can’t risk waiting any longer. Enough is enough. I rather not get into the details but for all of my loyal readers who were curious to know the deal – I thank you.

The main reason it didn’t work out was a major difference in attitudes. Their attitude was ‘will it matter in 3 years if the site is done tomorrow or in 4 months?’ Their CEO said that to me on numerous occasions.

That was back in January when I was fuming that the site wasn’t ready for the New Year. His mantra for me was ‘patience, Adam, patience.’ And although there’s some validity to that, I really don’t have patience for certain things, especially in business with things that ARE (and should be) in my control.

I don’t know one successful person who has a ‘will it matter in 3 years from now if this is done tomorrow or in 4 months’ attitude. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have liked it if I said, “Will it matter if I pay you today or in 4 months from now?”

We’re coming back stronger than ever. I’ve already hired a firm that was highly recommended by Seth.

And as much as my blood is boiling, it is what it is…and as they say, “It could always be worse!”

17 fabulously easy tips and tricks to stop mindlessly eating

1. Finishers: We love finishing things! That’s why it’s so hard to leave things on our plates; like that last bite we don’t even want. Our clue that we are done eating is that our plates are clean. Try always leaving a piece of food on your plate.

2. Perception: In a study when people thought they were drinking “cheap” wine, they ate less and stayed at dinner shorter. But the group with the “good” wine (they were the same exact wines) stayed longer and ate more and said the meal was better.

3. Eating: The first bite is always the best so just reduce the portions. Out to dinner? Tell them to pack up 1/2 of your food for home even before they bring out the plate to your table. Say no to bread. This way you don’t even have to look at it. If you have to constantly look at it, you have to constantly ask yourself the question, “Do I want a piece? Do I really not want a piece?” Save yourself.

Put food in the back of cupboards. Make it harder to get to. Thank God for places like Costco. But take Costco size things and put them in smaller containers (then hide them in large bins.) In general, when food is out of your site – it’s out of your mind.

4. Awareness: Are you really hungry when you eat? If you’re not hungry but choose to eat anyway — say out loud, “I’m not hungry but I’m going to eat this anyway!”

5. 20 percent: Try adding 20% more veggies to your plate and take away 20% of the entree.

1/2 plate: Try making half of your plate veggies. I find that eating veggies and salad with each meal really helps me to feel full.

6. Forgotten: There was a great study where 1 group of people ate chicken wings and their bones were kept in front of them. In the other group, the plates were cleared every 15 minutes or so.

Who do you think ate less? The group who saw all of their bones.

Bonus: You can do the same with wine. Always serve new glasses of wine and be sure to leave the old glasses out and the bottles too!

*Bonus – bonus: This actually applies to anything.

7. Just cut it: Mindless eating is when you eat and are no longer hungry. The “I’m full but I can eat more.” Be satisfied and just say, “Done!”

8. See all you can eat: Like the chicken wings – serve yourself in the kitchen and try to eat in another room. With snacks always pour or put the snack into something. Otherwise, the hand always reaches into that bag.

Continue reading “17 fabulously easy tips and tricks to stop mindlessly eating”

Is there really such a thing as soulmates? Really?

Last week I wrote a post entitled ‘Does getting married serve any purpose these days?’ With 70 + comments (and counting) from people either for or against marriage, it is truly fascinating to read all of the view points. This post generated a lot of buzz and rightfully so.

After all, relationships are what life is about. As Adriana says, “the best things in life are free but not many people realize that.”

Ironically, I never said whether I was for or against marriage. But I certainly don’t believe ‘it’s something you just do’ is a good enough reason. And as one reader said, “I do however think that it’s not a decision to make lightly. You need to be comfortable in your own skin and choose your partner out of love and respect, rather than convenience and security.”

Unfortunately, I think many people do just that. “Wow, we’re 30 years old, we’re dating…I guess we need to get married now…”

A lot of people (for marriage) kept saying ‘marriage is the ultimate commitment.’ It’s something you want to do for the other person because you love them so much.

I understand. I get it. But how do you know when you find the person?

Is there really such a thing as a soulmate? (I have to laugh because as I write this I feel like Carrie but it’s something I’m obviously intrigued by.)

I’m going to assume most people’s idealistic definition of a soulmate is that there is one person on this Earth that is meant for them. I’d love to think so.

Unfortunately, right off the bat, I’m going to have to disagree and here’s why:

I’m going to assume anyone that’s been in an ‘exclusive relationship’ with someone that’s no longer in the same relationship was really into it at one point. Even if it was just for a few months or weeks (or maybe even days) of being totally into that person. And even if the rest of the relationship was you tying to convince yourself that you were. Let’s face it – at one point you were very much into that person. Otherwise why bother?

Or, what if you met the person of your dreams? Your…’soulmate’? It was lust at first sight. (How can there be such a thing as love at first site anyway? It would only be your mind convincing yourself that you loved that person, no?)

But eventually they broke your heart.

I don’t think we should ever regret anything in our lives that has made us happy – at one point.

But we’ve all heard people when reflecting back on a break up, that they were initially distraught over, years later say, “That was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Again, your brilliant mind playing tricks on you – and rationalizing.

But thing is, it really may have been the best thing that ever happened to them. In their dark days they learned a heck a lot about themselves. But you can only get hurt by people who mean a great deal to you.

But then why do people always say, “How I dated that person is beyond me, what was I thinking?” Again, your mind partly rationalizing.

In reality, the only people who can truly believe in soulmates are those that truly believe they found their soulmates. But can’t that just be your mind convincing yourself that you did?

Does getting married serve any purpose these days?

Lately, I feel like people left and right are getting married or engaged. In fact, one of my boys (and old roommate) recently got engaged. Congrats again bro.

But is marriage a natural thing?

Are we supposed to be with the same person for the rest of our lives?

The divorce rates are alarming. 50% is the latest number. 1 out of 2 couples are going to wind up marrying their ex-husband/wife. That’s insane and divorce is certainly not something to be taken lightly; especially with kids.

My parents got separated when I was 4 years old and divorced soon after that. I remember being the only kid in my elementary school with divorced parents. But then as I got older it seemed like more and more parents were getting divorced and I was no longer in the minority.

So what is the point of marriage if 1 out of 2 happy couples are choosing to ruin their perfectly good relationship?

Let’s explore:

Social – security: Meaning whenever you’re bored, you always have something to do. But what happens if you’re never bored?

Financial – security: If you marry someone who will be rich, or is rich, or both, you will certainly be rich. A lot of people will do crazy things for money, unfortunately. But what if you have your own money?

Caring – security: You have someone who will do anything in the world for you. Nice. But there are plenty of single people who have friends/family who will do anything in the world for them too and plenty of married people who don’t.

Sexual – security: You always have someone to be intimate with that you hopefully truly care about. That’s cool. Not much I can say about that, however, there are plenty of single people who don’t have to worry about that. And there are plenty of married people who still do.

Children: I’m starting to believe that there is no reason for ‘marriage’ unless you are going to have children together. What’s the difference between a non-married couple living together and a married couple living together?

Nothing! My sister and bro-in-law lived together before they got married. Nothing changed…except my sister’s last name.

So what does marrying someone actually do? Some might argue that it provides security. You always have someone and they just can’t pick up and leave.

Here’s my counter. The type of person that’s living with their significant other and is willing to move out of your apartment and start all over again…is definitely the same type of person who’d divorce you. And why the heck would you want to be with someone if they don’t want to be with you anyway?

I think marriage is just a contract. Like any contract there are pros and cons. There are exciting parts of the deal and not so exciting parts of the deal.

And ultimately, I think marriage is something people just do. It just happens. Like becoming a cog in a wheel.

Except in a nice way.

[Update: Join the awesome debate on BrazenCareerist.com!!!!]

…and bullshit walks!”

I recently wrote about how I’m ready to invest a lot of money into my business.

Why invest in someone else when you can invest in yourself?

I used to be really into the stock market. Actually, I still am. But after a while, I realized that as much as I may think I know what’s going on with a company, I have no idea.

I much rather invest in myself. (I’m not saying investing in the market is a bad idea but unless you are going to dedicate the time you should, you are far better off investing in an index fund as opposed to a single company.)

Anyway, investing in myself is scary. I have absolutely no one to blame but me. Am I really going to invest in myself over Sergey Brin or Howard Schultz?

Absolutely! As scary as it is, I am in complete control of what I do with my company. But it takes a lot for me to actually cough up some real money.

I need to be 1000% convinced. I need proof of concept. Anyone who knows me fairly well has heard me say something like, “If I believe in something with all of my heart, the sky is the limit, there is no stopping me!”

I can honestly say that I believe in what I’m doing as much as Howard Schultz believed in his little idea. Words do no justice to express how I feel about what I’m doing and where I intend to take MyBodyTutor.

But it took me a long time to get to where I am today in terms of belief.

So many people are so eager to throw money at anything without even testing it. How do you even know your idea works? I’ve been testing my idea since I first started and I now believe (and am fully convinced) I have something that is ready to be taken to the next level.

I believe the reason why there is a lot of bullshit walking in the business world is because when push comes to shove people don’t truly believe deep down in what they are doing or offering.

Why would you continue to do something you don’t fully believe in?!?!

They say that, “Money talks…

The expectation paradox

I find it amazing that tickets for Sex and the City have been sold out for weeks already. Groups of girls all across America are planning on seeing it and reliving their Sunday night tradition just one more time.

Here’s the problem though:

Everyone is expecting the world from this movie. Anything less than perfect is going to be a disappointment. But here’s where the paradox comes in. If you don’t promise the world then not as many people will see it.

Hype is a huge marketing ploy. “This is going to be the greatest fight of all time,” or, “The greatest NBA finals of all time,” or, “The funniest movie ever!” Companies and marketers are constantly faced with this challenge – How do I get more people to do what I want them to do. In this case, see a movie.

But the very dangerous problem occurs when you can’t deliver on what you promised. If you promise X, Y, and Z and only deliver X and Y, you’re breaking a promise and are going to disappoint people and make them angry. As they say, satisfied customers tell three friends, angry customers tell 3000.

The expectation paradox is at work all the time:

In the years that Joe Torre led the team, from 1996 to 2007, the Yankees went to the post-season each year and won ten American League East Division titles, six American League pennants, and four World Series titles, in addition to compiling a .605 winning percentage with them. But everyone expected the World Series title so it wasn’t good enough.

When Eliot Spitzer was caught in his scandal it was a media frenzy. Here was a guy who held such high standards for everyone else and insisted that people take responsibility for their conduct, as they should. But that’s exactly the reason why he had to resign. That’s what he built his career on. And that’s exactly why Bill Clinton didn’t. He never made promises like that.

It’s even at work when your boyfriend or husband buys you flowers. If he brings you flowers every Friday and one Friday forgets, you might actually be disappointed. Yet, on the other hand, if he never brings you flowers and out of the blue brings you flowers it’s going to be a lot more special…because you didn’t expect it.

The same thing happened with the Sopranos. People were upset because of the non-ending of the Sopranos. People are always upset when a TV show ends with a big finale, because it never meets the hype, never meets the expectations.

Cut to black. (Once again.)

What it’s all about

Literally just got this email that I was CC’ed on:

Hey Adam and Marissa,

Adam, thanks for the vacation wishes! Marissa, here’s Adam’s info. Adam, Marissa is my roommate and has a friend (Linda) who may be interested in working with you – I just wanted to give you the heads up. Marissa has been witness to my “life transformations” and is now talking you up as well. 🙂

I swear to God, no matter how big this company gets, emails like this NEVER, EVER get old. And if they do, I will stop doing this immediately because that means I have my head so far up my ass.

And just this past Monday I got this email:

Dear Adam,

I know I have been MIA lately. My apologies up front about that. Since starting your program I have learned to handle situations that come along day to day not only with food, but with simple everyday things that can take away from our motivation and add to our stress. I know I do and feel my best when I eat right and exercise to my heart’s content. However, a few weeks ago, you said something to me that changed my life.

“Don’t do things that make me feel bad. Or if something is making me feel bad, change it.”

At that point, I had been drowning for weeks. Going to the studio everyday and singing nonstop is what I love to do best but I had huge bills as a result of it and it was all piling up before me. Getting home late, not seeing my family. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t feeling like I was making a difference. Not only in my own life, but more importantly in other people’s lives. It was time to change it.

I am about to ask you a favor. I know what I am capable of and I want to do for others what you have done for me. Being a Body Tutor would give me the greatest sense of pride because I feel that I can do it. I have reached so many personal milestones while on your program, I just wish I could help someone else do the same.

Again, emails and comments like this never, ever get old. In fact, I have every nice thing a client has said to me saved on my computer. Whenever, I need some inspiration I spend some time reading through them.

Changing lives and helping people is what it’s all about. This IS why I started this business.

I’ve talked a lot about making a difference and having meaning in my life. When I was working at E&Y, I just didn’t feel like I was making a difference or doing anything meaningful.

And it was killing me because I felt like a waste of space. I had ambition up to the sky, a ton of confidence in myself having started successful businesses in college yet not enough courage to quit my job because I was getting sucked into the system. Until I finally did. And it was the BEST thing I have ever done for myself!

I understand how writing blog posts like this might come across as arrogant. But you also have to understand my point of view.

I know what I offer works. There is not a question or doubt in my mind. (And that’s why I offer a 100% money back guarantee.)

I truly feel an internal pressure to help more people. I feel I have solved an enormous problem. And I want to offer my solution to as many people as possible.

The amazing thing is I have countless emails like this. To tell you the truth, as I’m working on my new website (I’ll tell you more about this next week and why it’s taking so long) one of the parts that is taking so long is organizing the testimonials. I have so many testimonials and emails like this that I feel are very important to share.

Again though, I am in business TO help people. TO help change people’s lives, TO get emails like this. That’s why I left E&Y.

Because when you feel good, you do good. And that’s what I help people do. I help people feel freaking amazing.

And that feels freaking amazing!

Skip the tough times? Go straight to the top.

I was watching TV the other night and the movie Click was on TV. Maybe I’m a huge softy but it totally ripped me a new one. And it’s a freaking Adam Sandler movie for God’s sake!

If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. It might change your perspective on life. It’s sort of like a funny movie version of Paulo Coelho’s must read, The Alchemist. Adam Sandler gets this remote that allows him to fast forward parts of his life but he doesn’t get back the time that he skips.

If a situation he doesn’t like arises, he clicks ahead. He winds up skipping through so many parts of his life to become a partner, then a managing partner, then CEO of the company he works at. But while he fast forwards through his life he’s on auto pilot so he doesn’t remember any of the times he’s had with his kids or wife.

When he wakes up and is like 60 years old he is the CEO of the company but he finds that his wife divorced him, his kids are all grown up and all he wants is his life back because he doesn’t remember any of it!

He skipped through all of the challenging parts in his life; the parts where he was working away at becoming a partner. Anything that was uncomfortable for him, he skipped. Unfortunately, he winds up missing so many parts of his life because he can’t control the remote anymore.

I guess the reason why this movie had such a big impact on me is because that’s a huge fear of mine: To just wake up one day and wonder where the hell my life went.

I’ve alluded to this fear here and here.

Because of this fear, I try to live each day to the fullest. To never take anything for granted. To appreciate the highs and lows. To enjoy the challenges that life throws at us. To actually lean into the tough times and embrace them! And most importantly, to never give up on my dreams. Ever.

I always tell my clients to appreciate the challenge of realizing their health and fitness goals. To enjoy the feeling of wanting to quit. To appreciate the annoying noise of the alarm clock. To embrace the cramps they may get while running. To anticipate the burn they will get when they can’t do that last rep. To enjoy saying no to that cookie.

I hate to say it but, no pain – no gain!

That’s all the stuff that makes you feel so incredible when you accomplish things. That’s what makes people so interesting. The tough stuff. The hard stuff.

It’s ALL about the journey…the thrill. It’s the same reason why people who sell a company for hundreds of millions start another company. It’s not for the money. It’s the day to day challenge and the grind and the ups and downs that they love. And pushing themselves to the limit.

If I had the opportunity to be handed my dream MyBodyTutor company, I’d honestly turn it down. It’s the creating part that’s so much fun. The ups and downs. The challenges. The pursuit of making this happen because I know I can. Growing personally and professionally. Evolving as a human being. To become a better person and entrepreneur each and every day.

I find I am, and I believe most people are, drawn to and very interested in people who went through uncomfortable things and challenges and persevered.

That’s what adds character and depth and perspective to someone.

And if you don’t have any of that…that’s pretty, pretty, pretty boring!

Click.

How to get in amazing shape, Rule #2

Continuing with my ‘how to get in amazing shape’ series (Part 1 here), the next rule is something that many of my clients are (delightfully) surprised at. The key isn’t to starve. Actually, that’s exactly what you don’t want to do. Rule #1 is to never let yourself get really hungry.

What you want to try and do is to eat something every 3 – 4 hours.

Think back to the caveman (sorry Geico cavemen!) days.

Back then, there were no supermarkets to get whatever you wanted, whenever you
wanted it. There weren’t bodegas on every corner like here in NYC either.

The caveman didn’t know when his next meal was coming. He only ate when he
made the kill and would literally stuff himself until he couldn’t move! Why? Because
he knew that he might not eat again for days or even weeks!

This made our bodies very bad at processing food. Since our bodies didn’t know
when we were going to eat next, they were forced to revert into something known as
“survival mode”.

Whenever you eat, your digestive system converts most of your food, especially
large amounts of carbs to glucose (blood sugar). It’s a very complex process but
basically anytime we eat we’re in ‘survival mode’.

Because of this our body converts most of the glucose…in conjunction with the
hormone insulin…to fat!

This is why people who constantly starve themselves can gain weight while eating
only one meal per day!

We’d all like to speed up our metabolism. Unfortunately, over thousands and
thousands of years our bodies haven’t changed much from the days of the
caveman. Every time we eat, our bodies are already automatically going to convert
what we eat to fat…even if it’s fat free!

So the million dollar question is, “Adam, how do I change my body from a fat storer
to a fat burner?” It’s all about proper nutrition.

The answer is simply this: 4-5 portion-controlled, balanced meals every 3-4 hours
throughout the day.

By eating this way, you’ll effortlessly speed up your metabolism. Think of this way. If
you have a campfire burning and you don’t add wood to the fire, eventually the
campfire will burn out!

But if you add a little wood every few hours, the campfire will continue to burn. And
burn hot!!! So, as you see, our metabolism is like the fire…never or rarely feed it
and it will slow down. Feed it every few hours and it has no choice but to speed up!

Burn baby. Burn.

Book Review: Accidental Branding – How ordinary people build extraordinary brands

I was lucky enough to get an advanced copy of David Vinjamuri’s Accidental Branding. What I really loved about the book is that it’s about the people behind these extraordinary companies and brands.

I find that to be so interesting. The first thing I do when I go to a website or read through a catalog, or a book, or anything for that matter; is to read the ‘about us’ page or to see if they have a blog. I want to know who I’m dealing with and what they’re about.

You’ll meet John Peterman of the legendary J. Peterman catalog; Craig Newmark, founder of craigslist.org; Gary Erickson, inventor of the Clif Bar; Myriam Zaoui and Eric Malka, founders of The Art of Shaving stores; “Mother” Gert Boyle of Columbia Sportswear; Julie Aigner-Clark, founder of Baby Einstein; and Roxanne Quimby of Burt’s Bees.

Vinjamuri does an incredible job of getting into the personalities of these entrepreneurs delving into what makes these people tick, what their core motivations are, how they live, what they believe, and so many other fascinating things that you’d be curious about any mega successful entrepreneur.

David defines an accidental brand by the following 3 characteristics:
1. An individual who is not trained in marketing must create the brand.
2. This individual must experience the problem that the brand is solving.
3. The individual must control the brand for at least 10 years.

He also has 6 rules for you to follow to increase your chances of creating an extraordinary brand.

Rule #1 : DO Sweat the small stuff – Every single entrepreneur is a perfectionist. And not just when it comes to the big stuff. It’s also very important to delegate but only to people who are just as detailed oriented as you are and training them to see things as you do.

How do you make that happen? Only hire people who experience the problem your company solves. (And any great company solves a problem.)

Rule #2 : Pick a fight! – You have to create something genuinely new. You can’t just create a me too product. They all took a stand against something. Whether it’s against another company or an entirely new way of doing something. For example, Gary of Clif Bar couldn’t stand to eat another Power Bar.

Rule #3 : Be your own customer – Every one of these people solved a problem they experienced themselves. Enough said.

Rule #4 : Be unnaturally persistent! – Most of the brands in this book took between 10 and 20 years to reach the $20 million mark having had exceptionally slow and humble beginnings. Most people give up or just don’t have the patience to build the company of their dreams. How much do you believe in what you’re doing?

Rule #5 : Build a myth – What David means is to create a story behind your company and why you started it but that doesn’t mean you can just make something up. Consumers are looking for authenticity and consistency in brands.

If you’re an entrepreneur solving your own problem, you do have a story! Why did you start your company? What’s the pain you’re solving?

Rule #6 : Be Faithful – David says, “Stick with the one that brought you to the dance.” Brands constantly forget about the consumers that made them great. They get into trouble when they forget about their core consumers and try to be everything to everyone.

Should I buy this book Adam?

Yes! Without a question. David is an incredible storyteller and if you find yourself very interested in extraordinary entrepreneurs this book is definitely for you. It’s entertaining and very detailed making for a great, interesting and fun read!