Author: Adam

Slumdog Millionaire and the obligation we have

A few weeks ago, I saw the movie Slumdog Millionaire which I highly recommend. It’s a very graphic and sometimes disturbing but very powerful story about a teenager from India who became a contestant on the Indian version of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”

When the 18 year old is one question away from answering the final question and the show breaks for the night, the police arrest him on suspicions of cheating. They don’t understand how he knows all of the answers being that he’s an orphan from the slums of Mumbai.

The movie is about his tragic experiences and how and why he knew the answers he did.

During the movie, I kept thinking about how lucky I am! The opportunities and privileges we have are endless.

The opportunities to be or do anything you want have never been greater. I don’t care how badly you think you have it.

Yet, it seems as though more and more people feel sorry for themselves. So many people seem less than thrilled with their lives and jobs.

The tools are endless, the wealth of knowledge is staggering and the amounts of people out there that can (and want to!) help you get to where you want to be are in abundance.

There is no excuse for you not to have your dream life. Your dream relationship. Your dream job. So what if you fall short? If you aim for the stars and reach the moon that ain’t so bad.

In fact, I feel it’s an obligation for you to at least try. How can you not? How can you not go after your dreams?

But still it’s so easy to blame someone or something for how bad you have it.

Maybe we have too many opportunities? Are we too lucky? Are we too comfortable?

Is it easier for someone like Eminem to become ‘Eminem’ because he wasn’t giving up a six-figure job. He wasn’t going against the grain. There were no expectations for him to be successful.

Do people who have nothing to lose have an advantage over those who have something to lose?

I get emails constantly from people who want to switch careers. But they have endless excuses because they feel they have too much to lose. And because of that they have endless rationalizations.

So essentially, they believe they have too many opportunities and too many privileges.

No matter what you have to lose, as far as I know, you only get one shot on this Earth. I don’t remember ever being here before. You might as well make the best of it, right?

And there is only reason you won’t become the person you want to become.

Because of the limitations you set on yourself.

Limitations = excuses = rationalizations = never getting to where you truly want to be.

The question isn’t if the rationalizations will happen. The question is: are you going to be brutally honest with yourself.

Only you are holding yourself back no matter how much you think you have to lose.

Only I am holding myself back.

A post on tipping because ‘Tis the season and being nice all 4 seasons!

It’s that time of year again. To tip everyone for doing (or going above and beyond) their job. I believe in tipping very generously because I used to be a waiter and a caddy.

In the service industry there is nothing more frustrating than dealing with someone who works you to death…just because they can.

However, I think it’s just as bad when people in a service industry believe they can do nothing and expect a tip.

Tipping is fascinating to me because it’s a measure of a person’s integrity. Especially, if it’s a one shot tip like going to a random restaurant in a different city.

If you’re picking up the tab no one knows what you’re leaving except the server. If someone else is paying, you have no idea what they’re leaving, and they know that. The old “if no one sees, it doesn’t count.”

If you’re in a group, no one wants to be labeled as cheap so they’ll tip well. “Sure, what’s an extra few bucks?!”

But you better believe when it’s just the server and the customer – the real person comes out! I’ve caddied for multi-millionaires who were so cheap it’s incredible. And these were guys that paid thousands and thousands of dollars to belong to a country club.

The sad part is these guys were hated. It’s one thing to be cheap but it’s another to be a complete a$$hole and cheap! And it’s just completely dumb to be cheap and an a$$hole at your own country club where everyone knows exactly who you are!

Interestingly enough, all the cheapskates seemed miserable with their life.

If you’re going to join a country club but not be able to tip well, you shouldn’t belong in the first place.

One of the main reasons why I did well as a caddy and a waiter is because I enjoying going above and beyond for people. I like making people happy. It’s fun.

It’s also one of the reasons why I wanted to be in a B to C business as opposed to a B to B business. I love dealing directly with the end users.

I just got ‘the’ holiday card from my building with 25 people I’ve never heard of. It turns out that being a good doorman and building a (good) business aren’t so different after all.

A doorman knows everything about our lives; probably a little too much!

A good doorman actually takes an interest in his customers. He cares about you (his customer). And it’s so easy for him to care because he can see what’s going on in your life.

He knows:

What you are doing and where you are going. Your work hours better than anyone.

Your favorite delivery food and how often you eat it. If you exercise.

When you go shopping and what you are ordering via mail. Your friends and family and how often you hang out with them.

Who you are seeing (and who you shouldn’t be seeing).

His job is to make your life as easy as possible by helping you solve little problems. Whether it’s holding packages, letting workers up to your apartment, holding doors open, or whatever the case may be.

If he’s a superstar, he’ll take the time to learn about you, making sure to establish that emotional connection. He’ll go out of his way to greet you in the morning. He’ll run to open the door for you.

He acknowledges you and shows his appreciation and leaves you with a lasting impression as you take on the day.

In fact, a good doorman is sincere 365 days a year 24/7 since the day you moved in. Sure, we all have our bad moments. You make it up next time, though. We are all forgiving.

But, doesn’t it make you cringe when all of the sudden your doormen are being extra nice?

When a doorman just expects tips just because he’s a doorman and is being extra nice just because it is holiday time people sense that in .1 seconds. If he really cared about serving people and wanted to make a difference, people would sense that too. They’d appreciate it. And guess what? They’d tell their neighbors how much they love the guy and make sure he was well taken care of.

Here’s the key to being a good doorman: Act like a caring person who likes to go above and beyond.

Here’s the key to being a superstar doorman: Actually, BE a caring person who likes to go above and beyond. (If you’re not, you’re in the wrong business. Because it’s much easier to be than to act.)

Here’s a post I wrote almost two years ago about my terrible doormen who thought everything was coming to them!

What we can all learn from Britney Spears

I love all types of music. I can go from listening to Jane Says by Jane’s Addiction (actually, I can’t get enough of this song lately) to Britney Spears (what can I say? It’s good gym music). I’m intrigued by her and unfortunately, she has turned herself into a ‘Paris Hilton’ type which is not smart because she has more to offer the world than just being fascinating.

So, I was looking forward to watching her MTV documentary and I finally got around to it. What a disappointment!

Here, she had a GIANT opportunity to totally clear the air and dispel all rumors and beliefs. No paparazzi, no reporters trashing her, nothing. Her and me! And I felt like she didn’t say anything! It wasn’t revealing, whatsoever.

I was hoping for a little more wisdom; a little more insight. Instead, she broke down talking about how lonely it is to be her. About how she wants to do nothing more than make music and dance yet 10 minutes later she said all she wants to do is be secluded on an island with a man she loves and her kids.

I wanted more. It almost seemed like the guy asking her these questions was probing too. But nothing!

I think there’s a huge paradox of being one of the most popular celebrities in the world.

On one hand, you expect her (and almost want her) to be this Goddess and ultra confident and untouchable superstar. After all, she’s Britney Spears. Yet, on the other hand, you want to see some vulnerability because it shows that she’s a real person.

I wrote about this with 50 Cent. If he was rapping about being lonely and Toyota’s it just wouldn’t be alluring. That’s why he can get away with rapping about how much money he is making off of his own fans. In fact, we like it!

I don’t care if 50 Cent or Britney Spears are lonely. That’s not what makes them intriguing. I only know each of them as international icons which is exactly why it was so fascinating to watch Britney self-destruct.

In the end, Britney left me feeling that she still has major issues to work through. She still doesn’t know who she is. And it showed. Because I have no idea who she is and she could have totally changed that after an hour of uninterrupted television.

Instead, it seemed as though Elizabeth Arden (the company that puts out her fragrance and sponsored this hour of mindless television) forced her to do this so they can sell a lot her perfume this holiday season. I think (and I could be very wrong), everyone at one point or another has fantasized about what it would be like to be famous.

Unfortunately, in this one hour of television I only learned two things. Always be you. No matter what. (Even if there’s not much depth to you.) And although I could care less about fame it’s not nearly as appealing as it seems.

The ironic part of all of this is that her fragrance is called ‘Fantasy.’

Sadly, about 15 months ago I thought I gave Britney some sound advice. Evidently, she’s not a slave for me and doesn’t read my blog!

Think Different

My favorite Apple Computer Ad campaign by far:

Here’s to the crazy ones.

The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules.

And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.

About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things.

They invent. They imagine. They heal.
They explore. They create. They inspire.
They push the human race forward.

Maybe they have to be crazy.

How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?

Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?

Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?

We make tools for these kinds of people.

While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.

Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

5 easy and fun to use MyBodyTutor tricks for you on this Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Nothing like a good meal, great company and some football!

It’s impossible to be thankful and unhappy at the same time. The two emotions cannot coexist. Thankfulness magically gets rid of every other non-happy emotion there is.

Of course, celebrate the great holiday, but let’s try to mindlessly eat a little less than we otherwise would.

Here’s five ideas for you to use this Thursday:

Wear Your Best Belt and your tightest pants! It’s a lot easier to stop eating when you know you’re full. One great clue is when your clothes and belt starts telling you. Sounds obvious, but stopping when you’re full is probably one of the harder things to do at the Thanksgiving table when everyone else is helping themselves to seconds.

It will be easier to stop if you wear very tight pants because then you’ll have to push away from the table when you’re stuffed. You’ll just be too uncomfortable otherwise.

Save your Calories for Dinner. If you want to be a great guest and enjoy the meal the most, skip the hors d’oeuvres. A great basic rule-of-thumb is don’t eat anything that doesn’t require a knife and fork.

Focus on the Special Stuff. Don’t waste your calories on large portions of food you can eat everyday. Limit the variety you have. Let’s make a rule. Only two items on your plate at any one time. Having a lot of different items on your plate at once stimulates your appetite so therefore don’t have 20 different things on your plate.

Small seconds are better than Big Firsts. Some people show their love through food. Research on memory shows that your Aunt Grace won’t remember how much you take, BUT she will remember if you liked it enough to take seconds. Especially, if you announce it. Take two small helpings of key foods over one medium/large portion.

So here’s the play: Take a little bit of Aunt Grace’s ‘famous’ mashed potatoes. Tell her how great they are. Then go back for seconds and say something like, “Aunt Grace, your mashies are so good I’m taking seconds!” She’ll be really happy because your making her feel good…and your body will be really happy, too because you’ll actually be eating less of them even though you’re going in for round 2.

Forget the Post Dinner Snacks. We won’t starve if we skip the late night turkey sandwich. This is a great time to focus on the family and not on the food.

Most importantly, and this is somewhat counterintuitive, don’t sweat it if you make a dietary mistake or two or three. We all will. And we’ll have the other 364 days to do it right!

Bonus! Want to make everyone laugh at the table? Cut out aluminum foil in the desired shape. Wrap the turkey and cook normally. And when it’s done and ready to be served it’ll look like the picture above. Not only will everyone laugh, a lot, but it’ll also remind you that, before we know it, bathing suit season will be here!

Also, from the bottom of my heart I want to thank all of my amazing clients for allowing me to do what I love doing. I don’t take it for granted, for even a second, that without them I wouldn’t have a business! I also want to thank you, my loyal reader, for reading my blog!

Enjoy your family and friends and, of course, happy Thanksgiving!

[Some really nice comments over at BrazenCareerist.com!]

My first letter to my future nephew or niece! (I’m going to be an Uncle!!!)

Dear my future nephew or niece!

I have some really exciting news and it’s about you! My sister (yes, your Mom) has a bun in the oven! (A whole wheat one of course.) And I’m soon going to be your very proud Uncle!

You’re 17 weeks old right now, inside your Mom, and you’re making her miserable every day, but, of course, you were worth it!

I must say that the idea of my sister being your Mom is kind of crazy. Not because she won’t be an amazing Mom – because she will be – but because my sister is my sister! Not anyone’s Mom!

Although I’m philosophical, your Mom being pregnant is making me even more philosophical.

[Fun fact: Philosophy means the love of wisdom. Philo means the love of and sophia means wisdom. My Mom (your Grandma!), must be smiling ear to ear (even more than she already is because of the thought of you) with my knowledge of etymology!

And don’t take it personally that she always corrects your English. She still does it to me! What do you expect? She’s a former English teacher and SAT tutor!]

See here’s the thing. While growing up, you’re going to think your parents (My incredible brother (I just call him brother at this point – instead of bro-in-law) and my incredible sister) were put on this planet for one reason: To be your parents!

It’s amazing how tunnel vision works. Your Grandma retired from teaching when she was 55. She taught High School English for 34 years! [Now you know why!?] I remember when I was a little kid, always being in the kitchen while she was making dinner and grading papers simultaneously and asking her all sorts of questions.

“So Mom, do these kids know you have kids?” “Why are you such a hard grader?” Endless questions but mainly because I couldn’t get over the fact that my Mom had students of her own. More so, a life of her own!

Kids, by nature, are extremely self-centered. Some kids stay self-centered their entire life while thankfully most realize there is more to this world than themselves! (I promise that won’t happen to you. Your parents are two of the most thoughtful people I know!)

For a little while, you will think your teachers are ONLY teachers. That your refs for your sports games are only refs. And that the people in your life – have no other life besides the relationship they have with you.

The weird thing is; I’m like best friends with your Mom and Dad. I’ve known your Mom for 25 years and your Dad for 7! Way before you were even an idea and way before they met!

I remember the very first time I met your father! I remember your Mom and Dad getting married and how they planned their entire wedding for a year! I remember when your Mom and Dad used to drive by the house you’re living in before it was built. They used to dream about it. I remember sleeping in your room when I stayed over!

(Don’t worry! I’ll tell you all sorts of hilarious stories but only when they’re not around!)

I want to thank you for helping me to look at life a little differently. It’s given me an entirely new dimension and perspective. A new way to look at my parents. A new way to look at my Aunt.

I’m going to write some letters to you on my blog. I think it’ll be cool for you to read them one day, too. To know what life was like before you were around. It’s cool right? (My sister just called me and said she felt a little kick. I’ll take that as a yes!)

Just know that you’re not even born yet and you’re already loved to death! You are all we talk about! And know how lucky you are. If I had to come back as anyone’s kid, your parents would be on top of the list.

That’s it for now. But just know that we love you and that you’re in for one hell of a ride! The ride of your lifetime!

Oh. And if you’re a boy (crossing my fingers) not only are you going to be a little muscle man but we’re going to do lots of fun things. I promise! You’ll be the little brother I never had. And if you’re a girl – I’ll take you shopping and we’ll build doll houses and whatever you want too! You’ll be the little sister I never had!

Either way, you win, and I’m thrilled and we’re all thrilled for you to be in our life!

I love you!

-Uncle Ad

If you care more than a lot, MyBodyTutor is the place for you!

Dear potential Body Tutor,

Several months ago I started training two people who were going to start handling their own clients.

Unfortunately, I had to let them go because I didn’t feel the passion from them. If you don’t sincerely love helping people no hard feelings at all. You just won’t be a good fit for us. You’ll save yourself (and us) a lot of time by not moving forward with the process.

I don’t say this lightly either. I don’t intend on building a company with mediocre people. I intend on building a memorable company. To build a memorable company I have to fill my company with memorable people.

This isn’t going to be my company for much longer. Everything right now is ‘me’, ‘my’, and ‘I’ but once you join and once I start to fill this company with memorable people it will be our company. In fact, I can’t wait for that!

But, I refuse to compromise on the caliber of people I hire as Body Tutors. I am very fortunate to be in a spot where I can be extremely picky. (By the way, you’re going to want me to be just as picky if you’re a part of the team because we’re only as good as our coaches.)

The success of MBT depends solely on finding amazingly caring people who are reliable and dedicated to reaching our vision. The more successful MBT is…the more successful you will be.

Why? Because small companies that hire incorrectly fail! They don’t probably fail, or maybe fail. They just plain fail. I must hire the right people. In particular, the early Body Tutors must be exceptional.

The most important part of hiring correctly is to not hire the wrong people. The second most important part of hiring correctly is to hire the right people. What that means is that it is better for me to not hire anyone at all if I can’t find the right person.

It’s not that hard to tell. The right people are the ones that really, really want to work with me. I can tell they’re excited to be a part of the team. They understand and believe in the mission. They get it. They see the vision. They want to (have to!) be a part of it.

If you care about status, symbols like titles, and resent the success of others no hard feelings. You’re just not a good fit for us. Again, you’ll save yourself a lot of time by not moving forward with the process.

I am obsessed with helping as many people as I can because I know what we created works. Just wait until you see the capabilities of the MBT application from a client side and the tutor’s perspective! It was built from the ground up with every feature, detail and tool absolutely obsessed over.

Are you extremely passionate about helping people reach their health and fitness goals? Do you eat, sleep and breathe the health and fitness lifestyle? I want to work with you!

THE FIRST 50 TUTORS!

As I said, I must be insanely picky for every tutor but especially the first 50.

Together, we are going to build an incredible company. A company that will change the lives of many. But we must be in this together. The first 50 are going to lay the foundation and pave the road.

I need you to be loyal and dedicated. I need you (no, I want you) to be really excited. I promise I will be just as loyal to you, if not more, when we do make this the company I envision.

Before you get in touch with me, please read the following blog posts:

1. The post you just read was inspired by this post. (Again, it’s really important to get the right people on the bus!)

2. This is a post on why I care so much about my clients. (If this makes no sense to you – then it won’t make any sense for you to join MBT.)

3. This is a post where I talk about the two greatest days of my life. (In case, you’re wondering why I eat, sleep and breathe MyBodyTutor.)

4. And finally I ask you the question, will you be missed? (That’s what it’s all about for me. That’s how you can judge if you’re having an impact on people or not! If you join MBT there is no doubt that you will be missed!)

You ready?

Thanks for reading either way!

-Adam

If you had the choice to buy a brand new car or a brand new website which would you choose?

(By the way, the ALL NEW MyBodyTutor website is launching soon…)

I’m going to try to explain why I bought a website.

It’s kind of weird when I think about it in those terms. But it’s something I had to do. Well, I don’t have to do anything. It’s something I need (must!) do. I could have kept my website the way it is and done well. But I’m not interested in doing well.

I’m interested in doing insanely well.

Last week the President of my old fraternity asked me to do an interview for an Entrepreneurship Class he is taking. One of the questions he asked me was ‘How do you define success? What is success to you? Are you successful?’

Without getting all philosophical and telling him my true definition of success I told him success for me entrepreneurially consists of two things:

One: Impact. How many people am I helping? Am I doing something worth doing? Does it matter? If my business went out of business would it be missed? Do my clients appreciate, love and respect my work?

Two: Profitable. Is this making money? After all expenses (insurance, phone, webhosting, advertising, taxes and on and on) is there anything left? (Notice I didn’t include time. I enJOY (actually love) spending time on my business. It is fun for me. It’s thrilling.

So how much do you believe in what you’re doing? The more ‘successful’ I am the more I believe in what I’m doing.

Wrong! No! Not at all! Not even close!

I believed in what I was doing from day one. I believed in what I was doing when I was sitting in my apartment all alone without anyone to help at 4:40 AM. I believed in what I was doing (or going to do) when I was sitting with the HR Lady at Ernst & Young telling her my plans after I gave my two week notice.

And the ultimate belief test came from my mom. “Are you prepared to not have an income?” “Do you understand you will not have insurance after 6 months?” “Do you realize that going out with your friends might not be possible?” “Do you know how many people would kill to have the job you have?” “Why can’t you just appreciate what you have?”

“Do you know and realize and on and on and on and on and on…” (If it were a movie or a TV show it would have been one of those scenes where the questions get faster and faster and the fear builds and builds.)

My mom was relentless, for a long time, but there was nothing she could do. I have been and am fully self-sufficient for a long time.

I asked her why she was so inspirational to her students yet when it came to me she was the complete opposite. “Why did you inspire Terry to go after his dreams but you don’t with me?”

Read this article! (According to Terry, my mom is the one who inspired him to go after his dreams!)

What finally made my mom stop was when I said something like, “Listen, I know you want the best for me and I know you love me to death but I think everything you worry about and fear for me are things you worry about and fear for yourself. I need to do this, I want to do this and I’m going to do this. And I have to do this!”

If you don’t believe in what you’re doing before anyone has any clue about what you do, you’ll never get anyone to believe in you.

If it’s going to take selling products or positive feedback in whatever it is you want to do to reassure yourself of what you’re doing then you don’t truly believe in what you’re doing.

(Sure, it can make you believe a little more but you have to believe a lot from the start! Before anyone else is on board!)

Or else do not bother starting! Because you will never, ever, finish what you started. And you’re better off using your time finding something that you do believe in with every molecule of your body.

And if you don’t believe in what you’re doing when you’re all alone, when your mind tries to demolish your idea and if you don’t WANT to work on your idea, product, business, dream career, dream job and if you aren’t sincerely obsessed with what you’re doing whether you’re making no money at all and getting no positive feedback or making a billion dollars or have million and millions of people pulling for you, you’d never, ever, pick the website over the car.

Wall Street Firms Expected To Slash Annual Bonuses. Really? No!?

According to the merriam-webster dictionary the definition for bonus is: something in addition to what is expected or strictly due: as a: money or an equivalent given in addition to an employee’s usual compensation.

With companies like Lehman Brothers going bankrupt, the emergency sales of Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual and federal rescues for the insurance giant American International Group and the mortgage companies Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac how can the word bonus even come up for discussion?

The fact that our tax dollars are being used to bail out these companies and many others and bonus talk is even going on is completely outrageous.

The sad part is these companies employ hundreds of thousands of people cumulatively but only a tiny percentage of the people in these companies brought this all on us. When I say this; I’m referring to the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression. I’m referring to people who almost brought down the entire global financial system.

I’m referring to the companies that are going to get over $700 billion beans from us. And please spare me with, “The Government’s money is not being used for our bonus pool”, is what these companies are saying. I don’t care if my money or their company’s money is being used for a bonus. If they have enough money for a bonus why do they even need our money in the first place?

Now all of these guys who made millions and millions on the way up want money on the way down? Did they distribute their wealth when they were doing so well?

Nobody can make a bad business decision in America anymore? Business failure is just as critical for a free market (like the one I thought we lived in) to succeed.

Not every business can thrive (and survive!). Capitalism creates innovation. Innovation leads to a better standard of living because we get to enjoy a higher quality of products and services. Out with the old. In with the new. Survival of the fittest baby.

Unless, the old, is of course, still better. Either way, the free market dictates everything it wants to see more of.

If old systems and processes and ways of doing business (obviously) aren’t working then let them not work. But what’s the incentive for a company like Well’s Fargo (still doing relatively well) to innovate and not make reckless decisions? Why not go for broke if you’re just going to be saved in the end anyway?

When you save industries like the car industry, or large Wall Street ‘Institutions’ or the airline industry what’s the incentive to innovate?

How come Herb Kelleher (one of my heroes) was able to build Southwest into such a profitable company while other airlines were begging for money?

I do understand if we didn’t bail out some of these companies they wouldn’t just affect the people in these companies. It would affect the entire world.

But there’s got to be a line drawn somewhere. This isn’t a risk free game. Or is it? And how in the world do these companies even have the audacity to give out bonuses?

Thankfully, MyBodyTutor is doing well but I’ll tell you one thing for sure – if I went out of business because I made bad decisions the government certainly wouldn’t give a flying f$$k!

But I’m so lucky to have clients like Wes. Read this blog post of his and this blog post of his. (Actually, read all of his posts at PickOnTheFatKid.com. My goal is to inspire him (and all of my clients) to be inspiring.)

And I’m so lucky to be doing well in this down economy with all this craziness that was brought on by these Wall Street guys.

It’s too bad I’m not like them. They are lucky no matter what.

(Hat tip: This article for making me ticked off enough to write this post and to Evan for also wondering what happened to a true free market economy!)

[Update: Apparently other US Taxpayers feel the same way! Check out this great article from Bloomberg here.]

I bet you think this post is about you

Pardon the interruption. Our original programming will not be airing today. Instead we’re going to focus on dealing with criticism. We’re also going to focus on the pathetic individuals who feel the need to constantly criticize and bash other people.

I wasn’t going to write this but I feel it’s very important and very timely for many reasons. One of my friends just sent me a terrible write up about his (very successful) restaurant across the country and he’s pretty upset about it. It almost seemed like a personal attack. Another one of my friends is getting slammed for his new advertising software that is changing the local advertising game. And of course, Barack Obama has faced intense criticism.

So, I told them I’d write a post about me and one that they can hopefully refer to when they feel down and out. I’ve gotten slammed a few times on my blog and if I can help my friends I’m all for it. (Oddly, by people who don’t even really know me. But that’s the way it works.) I also hope this post helps anyone who is (or is thinking about) really putting themselves out there.

In fact, on my post “The Number one quality we should look for in our President” there was a comment waiting for me. I deleted it because it’s not even worth sharing. If it was, I’d share it with you. But it’s not even that juicy.

After reading the comment though it made me smile. Because it means I’m on the right track! But it also made me sad. Let me explain why.

The difference between a person like you (someone who feels the need to constantly criticize other successful people) and a person like me is that you desperately wish you had the guts and the courage to go after your dreams. But you’re scared. You’re timid. You’re afraid of ridicule. You’re afraid of failure. You would keel over if someone said something bad about you.

I’ll tell you a little secret between you and me. I used to be like that too! But the huge difference between a person like you and a person like me is that I never knocked down people who were successful. I learned everything I possibly could from them. I studied them. I emulated them. I admired them! Heck, I even became friends with them!

But yet it absolutely kills you to see other people going after their dreams and making them come true. It kills you to see other people succeed. It destroys you. You are so scared of being disliked that you rather knock other people down then build yourself up. I know. I know. It must hurt.

It really saddens me that you rather spend your precious time (your precious time I said!) writing pathetic comments on my blog then going after your own dreams.

See, I want to (no, I must!) live the life of my dreams. Or at least try! Here’s the thing though. I’m going to die. And one day you will too.

How can you sit back and be timid? How can you not, at least try to, go after your dreams? So what if you fail? It’s the journey where all of the fun is anyway. It’s inexcusable. It’s unforgivable. We get one shot on this Earth buddy.

What are you waiting for? Oh that’s right. You don’t have the guts. You lack self-confidence. You don’t even trust yourself!

I love quotes. And I have a quote framed on my wall that says, “If you’re remarkable, it’s likely that some people won’t like you. That’s part of the definition of remarkable. Nobody gets unanimous praise – ever. The best the timid can hope for is to be unnoticed. Criticism comes to those who stand out.”

Every single successful person I have ever met in my entire life that is mega-successful from billionaires to young entrepreneurs who are running multi-million dollar businesses to my favorite authors to my favorite bloggers have one thing in common:

They are remarkable.

And even you would be amazed at some of the people I’ve met. I pinch myself sometimes. It’s freaking unbelievable.

These guys and companies and blogs have thousands and thousands of loyal fans. They are loved and respected and admired by so many people. But guess what!?

They are ridiculed and criticized by people too. Every SINGLE successful person I have met in my entire life and studied has (and had) people who try (tried) to knock them down…constantly.

And you know what all of these friends and mentors tell me? Don’t pay attention to them for even a second. They tell me to pay attention to the people who love and respect and admire my work.

And here I am spending my time writing a blog post dedicated to you! That’s how much I care. That’s how much my mom had an impact on me!

It’s taken me a long time to get to where I’m at. I wrote a post a while back entitled “Being Absolutely Fearless.” That was when I started my quest to have really thick skin. Because without it (at least according to these very successful people I know) you have no shot at living a remarkable life.

Jealousy my friend is a very powerful emotion. Being jealous tells you something. But it’s also a very wasteful emotion. Don’t be jealous. Instead, admire!

Being jealous says, “I wish I had or could do or be what this person does or has!” in my opinion.

But the difference between a person like you and a person like me is that you’ll keep hoping and wishing. I’ll keep trying and learning.

You’re so full of yourself that you can’t stand to ask someone for help. You can’t stand to be seen as someone who doesn’t know something. Instead you’ll stay stuck trying to knock people down instead of building yourself up.

You know why I love my clients to death? (Well, there are many reasons actually!) Because they aren’t too proud to ask for help. They don’t want to make excuses anymore. They don’t want to rationalize anymore. They don’t want to be stuck anymore.

Raise your hand in the air. Now raise it one inch higher. See – we can always be pushed a little harder.

But instead you’ll spend your entire life rationalizing excuse after excuse to yourself. The difference between successful people like my clients and you is that they seek help when they need it. You just try to tear people down. Newsflash: It’s much easier to talk than do!

I also get the comment that I’m full of myself on my blog once in a while. I’d like to address that here once and for all.

There’s a huge difference between being full of oneself (some might call that being an egomaniac) and full of confidence.

I think that blogging requires you to have a healthy respect for your opinions, as well as the generous desire to share them with others. That’s not a negative social trait… If you don’t respect your opinions, who will?

And if you don’t want to share the ideas you admire or believe in or even think about, you’re being selfish, aren’t you?

In any case, did you read the words on the top left hand corner? ‘Adam Gilbert’s Entertaining Ideas on Business, Fitness and Life…’ They are just that. Ideas! It doesn’t say ‘Adam Gilbert’s Entertaining ANSWERS on Business, Fitness and Life…’ does it?

And I love hearing other points of view! That’s why I have comments on my blog. That’s why I write some of the posts I do. I’m genuinely curious to hear what other people have to say. I love to make people think. Even if I’m going to get bashed for it. It’s a risk I’m willing to take. I’m willing to put myself out there.

Besides, if you don’t like my blog STOP READING IT! Use that back button or X out of it.

So what are you going to do my friend? Continue to write pointless comments on my blog? And continue to spend your Friday nights trying to knock people down?

I’m going to say it’s a safe bet I’ll refer back to this post many times in my career. In fact, I hope to. That means I’m succeeding!

Are you going to keep sitting there and keep hoping and wishing you were someone that you aren’t? You going to keep rationalizing? Or you going to get some advice and help and make your dreams come true so one day you, too, can be successful? (By the way, I define successful as being extremely happy.)

And you know how I know you’re not successful? I don’t know one successful person who stays in on a Friday night trying to bring down other people.

Instead they’d be working their asses off on their own dreams and their own happiness.

[Nice comment over at BrazenCareerist.com.]