Category: Life

Are people born with ambition?

I find the topic of ambition really interesting. Whenever I meet other entrepreneurs, I always try to get their take.

Is ambition something you are born with? Or it something you develop over time?

Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert had a great blog post about ambition the other day. He calls it the ‘Ambition Defect’ and I can relate to it a lot.

He writes:

“I once worked with a guy who referred to his older brother as the “white sheep of the family.” The older brother was a CEO of a Fortune 500 company while his siblings had no ambitions that extended beyond lunch. That sort of thing makes me wonder about the whole nature versus nurture question. I assume all the kids in this fellow’s family had a similar upbringing, but only one had ambition.

I think ambition is a genetic defect. You can’t have ambition unless you think there is something wrong with the way you are. Ambition is a state of feeling perpetually flawed.

By most objective standards, my career has gone well. By my internal standards, I am in a continuous state of not doing enough.”

For me, it’s about being the best that I can be. It’s about being better today than I was yesterday.

It’s almost as if there is an internal drum beating inside me that keeps me going.

I don’t feel flawed though. However, I do always feel like I’m not doing enough and there are plenty of times where I’ve even wished that the drum would stop because it causes me to put an enormous amount of pressure on myself.

It won’t.

Sometimes that drum gets muted out by external factors. But at the end of the day, that drum is still beating very loud and I just don’t feel right unless I’m moving forward. (Or at least what I think is moving forward.)

I believe people are born with ambition. Either you have it or you don’t. It’s just the way you are wired as a human being.

I also think being ambitious is very different from being motivated.

Do you think people are born with ambition?

Or do you think it’s something that can be nurtured?

I guarantee this video will make you laugh plus who you hang around…

Speaking of uncontrollable laughter a reader sent me this amazing video. (Warning: This video will make you laugh uncontrollably, too!)

The video is of two newscasters who can’t stop laughing because a model fell on the runway not once, but twice. Their smokers laugh mixed in with what sounds like asthma and wheezing makes for an incredibly hilarious laugh.

It’s hard not to laugh watching this video because their laugh is so contagious.

Which brings me to the point of this post.

Who you hang out with will directly influence your thoughts and beliefs. In fact, it is said that we are the cumulative sum of the 5 people we spend most of our time with along with our past experiences.

Books and TV and movies and magazines and even blogs will (or can) impact your thinking and open you up to entirely new worlds.

But a lot of people get stuck in their circle and they can’t break out of their little world.

I’m not suggesting you drop your friends. No. Not even close.

But there’s nothing wrong with having different friends with different interests.

If you’re trying to break into a particular field befriend someone in that field.

Before you continue to question why you can’t break out of your same old habits and thinking take a look at who you spend most of your time with.

What you do most of the time or who you spend most of your time with will generate most of your results and will generate most of your thinking and habits!

It’s not a coincidence that unhappy people love hanging out with other unhappy people. After all, misery does love company.

It’s not a coincidence that sports fanatics hang out with other sports fanatics.

It doesn’t take scientists and researchers to figure out that having overweight friends can make you overweight too.

Actually, evidently it does.

Note: The inspiration for this post came from Nancy, a loyal reader, who wants to start a business from home after being a stay-at-home mom for several years. She emailed me asking for advice because she’s really intimidated.

I found out that all of her friends are stay-at-home moms that don’t have jobs or businesses.

My first piece of advice was for her to become friends with other stay-at-home moms that have started businesses.

She will quickly learn that it’s not as intimidating as the thinks and she’ll be laughing like the newscasters in no time!

Book Review: Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior (Plus win a copy!)

I was lucky enough to get a copy of Ori and Rom Brafman’s Sway which is on the New York Times Bestseller list. Why do perfectly rational people make irrational decisions?

Well, that’s exactly why I found this book so fascinating because it’s all about the hidden psychological influences that disrupt our ability to make good decisions which is so critical in life (and business).

Did you ever wonder why it’s so difficult to sell a plummeting stock or end a doomed relationship?

Why do we listen to advice just because it came from someone “important”? Why are we more likely to fall in love when there’s danger involved?

In Sway, all of these questions are answered and more.

This book reveals the many dynamic forces that influence our personal and business lives, including loss aversion (our tendency to go to great lengths to avoid perceived losses), the diagnosis bias (our inability to reevaluate our initial diagnosis of a person or situation), and the “chameleon effect” (our tendency to take on characteristics that have been assigned to us).

Sway introduces you to the Harvard Business School professor who convinced his students to pay more than $200 for a $20 bill, the head of airline safety whose disregard for his years of training led to the transformation of an entire industry, and the football coach who turned conventional strategy on its head to lead his team to victory.

You’ll also learn the curse of the NBA draft, discover why interviews are a terrible way to gauge future job performance, and go inside a session with the Supreme Court to see how the world’s most powerful justices avoid the dangers of group dynamics.

Should I buy this book Adam?

Yes! Without a question. It’s a really interesting and fun book and makes for a perfect beach or pool side read. If you like books like Blink and Freakonomics you’ll love this book!

How can I win a copy of this book?

Email me at GuruGilbert [at] yahoo [dot] com and tell me 3 reasons why you want this book. Last time I did a give away it was pretty cut and dry. But since this book is all about irrational decisions and why we make them, I figure this will be more fun. Please put ‘Book give away’ as the subject of the email. Deadline is midnight on Monday the 14th.

Go work your magic and I’ll post an update below as to who the winner is and there 3 reasons.

[Update: The winner is Gary from Chicago. The main reason why I chose him is because he told me recently that he ‘never, ever, reads blogs’ and he is also a client of mine. So I was quite surprised when I got an email from him. I’m sorry to all of you who emailed me some great answers and reasons. Gary’s answers were quite simple:

1. This is the first blog I have ever read. I must say I’ve become a regular reader of your blog and really enjoy it!

2. You, your company and your program rock. And as you know, I’ve referred over 10 people to your business.

3. I have never won anything before. So as you say, “Make it happen” for me!

How can I resist guys? I told you this was an irrational contest. The next one will be a lot more cut and dry. Promise.]

What it’s all about

Literally just got this email that I was CC’ed on:

Hey Adam and Marissa,

Adam, thanks for the vacation wishes! Marissa, here’s Adam’s info. Adam, Marissa is my roommate and has a friend (Linda) who may be interested in working with you – I just wanted to give you the heads up. Marissa has been witness to my “life transformations” and is now talking you up as well. 🙂

I swear to God, no matter how big this company gets, emails like this NEVER, EVER get old. And if they do, I will stop doing this immediately because that means I have my head so far up my ass.

And just this past Monday I got this email:

Dear Adam,

I know I have been MIA lately. My apologies up front about that. Since starting your program I have learned to handle situations that come along day to day not only with food, but with simple everyday things that can take away from our motivation and add to our stress. I know I do and feel my best when I eat right and exercise to my heart’s content. However, a few weeks ago, you said something to me that changed my life.

“Don’t do things that make me feel bad. Or if something is making me feel bad, change it.”

At that point, I had been drowning for weeks. Going to the studio everyday and singing nonstop is what I love to do best but I had huge bills as a result of it and it was all piling up before me. Getting home late, not seeing my family. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t feeling like I was making a difference. Not only in my own life, but more importantly in other people’s lives. It was time to change it.

I am about to ask you a favor. I know what I am capable of and I want to do for others what you have done for me. Being a Body Tutor would give me the greatest sense of pride because I feel that I can do it. I have reached so many personal milestones while on your program, I just wish I could help someone else do the same.

Again, emails and comments like this never, ever get old. In fact, I have every nice thing a client has said to me saved on my computer. Whenever, I need some inspiration I spend some time reading through them.

Changing lives and helping people is what it’s all about. This IS why I started this business.

I’ve talked a lot about making a difference and having meaning in my life. When I was working at E&Y, I just didn’t feel like I was making a difference or doing anything meaningful.

And it was killing me because I felt like a waste of space. I had ambition up to the sky, a ton of confidence in myself having started successful businesses in college yet not enough courage to quit my job because I was getting sucked into the system. Until I finally did. And it was the BEST thing I have ever done for myself!

I understand how writing blog posts like this might come across as arrogant. But you also have to understand my point of view.

I know what I offer works. There is not a question or doubt in my mind. (And that’s why I offer a 100% money back guarantee.)

I truly feel an internal pressure to help more people. I feel I have solved an enormous problem. And I want to offer my solution to as many people as possible.

The amazing thing is I have countless emails like this. To tell you the truth, as I’m working on my new website (I’ll tell you more about this next week and why it’s taking so long) one of the parts that is taking so long is organizing the testimonials. I have so many testimonials and emails like this that I feel are very important to share.

Again though, I am in business TO help people. TO help change people’s lives, TO get emails like this. That’s why I left E&Y.

Because when you feel good, you do good. And that’s what I help people do. I help people feel freaking amazing.

And that feels freaking amazing!

Skip the tough times? Go straight to the top.

I was watching TV the other night and the movie Click was on TV. Maybe I’m a huge softy but it totally ripped me a new one. And it’s a freaking Adam Sandler movie for God’s sake!

If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. It might change your perspective on life. It’s sort of like a funny movie version of Paulo Coelho’s must read, The Alchemist. Adam Sandler gets this remote that allows him to fast forward parts of his life but he doesn’t get back the time that he skips.

If a situation he doesn’t like arises, he clicks ahead. He winds up skipping through so many parts of his life to become a partner, then a managing partner, then CEO of the company he works at. But while he fast forwards through his life he’s on auto pilot so he doesn’t remember any of the times he’s had with his kids or wife.

When he wakes up and is like 60 years old he is the CEO of the company but he finds that his wife divorced him, his kids are all grown up and all he wants is his life back because he doesn’t remember any of it!

He skipped through all of the challenging parts in his life; the parts where he was working away at becoming a partner. Anything that was uncomfortable for him, he skipped. Unfortunately, he winds up missing so many parts of his life because he can’t control the remote anymore.

I guess the reason why this movie had such a big impact on me is because that’s a huge fear of mine: To just wake up one day and wonder where the hell my life went.

I’ve alluded to this fear here and here.

Because of this fear, I try to live each day to the fullest. To never take anything for granted. To appreciate the highs and lows. To enjoy the challenges that life throws at us. To actually lean into the tough times and embrace them! And most importantly, to never give up on my dreams. Ever.

I always tell my clients to appreciate the challenge of realizing their health and fitness goals. To enjoy the feeling of wanting to quit. To appreciate the annoying noise of the alarm clock. To embrace the cramps they may get while running. To anticipate the burn they will get when they can’t do that last rep. To enjoy saying no to that cookie.

I hate to say it but, no pain – no gain!

That’s all the stuff that makes you feel so incredible when you accomplish things. That’s what makes people so interesting. The tough stuff. The hard stuff.

It’s ALL about the journey…the thrill. It’s the same reason why people who sell a company for hundreds of millions start another company. It’s not for the money. It’s the day to day challenge and the grind and the ups and downs that they love. And pushing themselves to the limit.

If I had the opportunity to be handed my dream MyBodyTutor company, I’d honestly turn it down. It’s the creating part that’s so much fun. The ups and downs. The challenges. The pursuit of making this happen because I know I can. Growing personally and professionally. Evolving as a human being. To become a better person and entrepreneur each and every day.

I find I am, and I believe most people are, drawn to and very interested in people who went through uncomfortable things and challenges and persevered.

That’s what adds character and depth and perspective to someone.

And if you don’t have any of that…that’s pretty, pretty, pretty boring!

Click.

Tuesdays With Gilby: A Play In Three Jokes on How to be Remarkable

(The curtain rises. We’re inside the Home for Retired Funnymen, an assisted-living facility for comics in their sunset years. Sitting in a La-Z-Boy chair, staring out the window at the Catskill Mountains, is Uncle Gilby. He’s wearing a tattered robe and chewing on a cigar. Rushing into Uncle Gilby’s room is nephew, Ben.)

Ben: (out of breath) Uncle Gilby what’s wrong? I got your call and came over immediately.

Uncle Gilby: Ben, my boy, I don’t have much time left. So I’ve decided to let you in on some wisdom-to convey to you the lessons of my life and teach you the three secrets of being remarkable. Listen carefully.

Ben: (surprised and slightly overwhelmed) I’m all ears.

Uncle Gilby: Yes, I’ve noticed that since you were a child, Ben. You know, your cousin Jerry is a very well known plastic surgeon. He does excellent work. He could help. But I digress. Ben, there are three secrets to being remarkable.

Ben: What are they?

Uncle Gilby: A guy walks into a doctor’s office. He says, “Doctor, it hurts when I do this.” And the doctor says . . . Ben what does the doctor say?

Ben: “Don’t do that.”

Uncle Gilby: Exactly! Now to the next secret. A guy is walking to work one day and right outside his office he sees a penguin. He’s startled, doesn’t know what to do. So he takes the penguin into his boss’s office and asks his boss, “What should I do with this penguin?” The boss looks at him and says, “Take him to the zoo, you idiot!” A few days later, out on the street, the boss runs into the guy and he still has the penguin. The boss is shocked. He looks at the guy and says, “I thought I told you to take the penguin to the zoo!” And the guy looks at his boss and says . . . (a pause as Uncle Gilby waits)

Ben: “I did. But we had such a great time, today I’m taking him to a ball game.”

Uncle Gilby: Precisely! Oh, Ben, I’m so proud.

Ben: Thank you, Uncle Gilby.

Uncle Gilby: Now the last secret. A woman from Ohio is walking in midtown Manhattan. She’s a bit lost. She sees a man carrying a violin case, walks up to him, and asks him, “Excuse me, sir, how do you get to Carnegie Hall?” The violinist looks at her and says . . .

Ben: (not waiting for the prompt) “Practice, practice, practice.”

Uncle Gilby: Right! And those are the secrets to being remarkable.

Ben: Uh, I don’t get it.

Uncle Gilby: Stop doing things that hurt; do what you love. Ignore what authority figures tell you. And most of all . . .

Ben: Practice, practice, practice.

Uncle Gilby: That’s right, Ben. (Uncle Gilby clutches his chest.)

Uncle Gilby: (in a weak voice) You’ve been a great audience . . .

Ben: Uncle Gilby?

Uncle Gilby: (his voice weaker still) Thank you . . . Good night . . .Drive safely.
(The curtain falls.)

(hat tip: Big Moo for inspiring this post)

What is your definition of success?

Does it involve making boat loads of money? Does it mean you’ll help millions of people change their life? Will you be famous? Are you considered successful once you have a helicopter and a Gulfstream Jet? Does it mean you’ll have ridiculously huge homes?

Or maybe it involves public service and giving back? Will you be very well respected in your field? Will people look up to you? Will you have a Ferrari 360 Modena and a few other gems in your garage? Maybe, just changing one life forever is good enough for you. Will your kids be proud to have you as a parent? Will you have every toy imaginable? Or does it mean you’ve truly made the world a better place?

What does success really mean to you?

My definition of success is to be truly, sincerely and deeply happy. But that means; I’m wildly successful NOW!?

So that means success has nothing to do with money and everything to do with happiness?! So wouldn’t that mean all you need to do is figure out ways to make yourself as happy as possible and to stop doing things that make you unhappy?

But what does happy and unhappy really mean? I think they are such overused terms these days.

For example, when I reflect back on my days of working in public accounting I say I was miserable. But I wasn’t really miserable. I just wasn’t excited. I also learned that how I made money was really important to me.

I want to do something meaningful and exciting.

But what’s meaningful to me, might not be fulfilling for you. If it’s meaningful to me then it’s going to automatically be exciting. Actually, changing people’s lives for the better is thrilling.

Excitement is the new happiness. And I believe that’s what we’re all really after…an exciting life.

At least, that’s what I’m after.

Why you shouldn’t hit the snooze button, according to Tiger Woods

I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself. Sometimes, I wonder what the point is. Why can’t I just relax, why can’t I just be content, why do I expect so much from myself?

Tiger’s interview this last week with Scott Van Pelt for the ESPN Sports Center Sunday Conversation was freaking unbelievable! My biggest fear is not realizing my full potential. I really believe that hell would be seeing what you could have accomplished if only you believed in yourself and tried your hardest.

One sequence in particular really hit home with me:

SVP: You have 64 wins on the PGA Tour, a fortune in the bank, how do you fight the human nature that says ‘I’m going to hit the snooze button today, I’m gonna take my foot off the gas, I’m just gonna coast for a while.’ Where does the hunger inside of you come from?

Tiger: I don’t know how you can think any other way.

SVP: There’s no….what would allow you to be satisfied?

Tiger: Hmm – win more.

SVP: So the 64th is…it feels as good, as fulfilling, as the 1st, the 2nd, the 33rd?

Tiger: God yes. Oh yeah.

SVP: So there’s no point when you can sort of put the feet up on a Tuesday afternoon and say ‘Today I’m not going to the gym’.?

Tiger: No. Because the next…that’s…I look at life as: the greatest thing about tomorrow is that I will be better than I am today. And that’s the way I’ve always lived my life. So I have no understanding why people do hit the snooze button because you have a chance to become a better person, become – for me – a better athlete…all the different things you can do to become better for tomorrow. Why wouldn’t you take advantage of that?

In an ESPN article he had almost the same answer:

“The greatest thing about tomorrow is, I will be better than I am today. And that’s how I look at my life. I will be better as a golfer, I will be better as a person, I will be better as a father, I will be a better husband, I will be better as a friend. That’s the beauty of tomorrow. There is no such thing as a setback. The lessons I learn today I will apply tomorrow, and I will be better.”

I believe the point of life, the reason for living, is to always improve, to always get better and ultimately to grow and evolve as a human being.

Oh man. I love this stuff. It really gets me going.

My money is on Tiger this weekend at Augusta.

Hat tip: Adam McFarland (a friend who shares the same outlook on life and is killing it with his business)

If you have a pulse you MUST watch this video!

This is one of my favorite inspirational videos of all time. You may have seen this already as this guy was on Oprah but it’s worth watching again and again and again. In September of 2007, Randy Pausch gave a final lecture to his students at Carnegie Mellon. It has since been downloaded more than a million times on the Internet.

There’s an academic tradition called the Last Lecture. Hypothetically, if you knew you were going to die and you had one last lecture, what would you say to your students?

Well, for Randy, it wasn’t hypothetical as he was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

Here are some of the golden nuggets I got from the video:

You can’t control the cards you’re dealt, just how you play the hands.

We all have childhood dreams and it’s very important to remember that anything is possible and we should never lose that spirit.

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

When you’re doing a bad job and nobody points it out to you it’s because nobody cares about you.

Brick walls are in the way of our dreams for a reason: They let us prove how badly we want things.

Always have fun and have a sense of wonder.

Be humble.

Express your creativity.

People are a lot more important than things.

Decide if you’re Tigger or Eeyore.

Live with integrity.

Tell the truth.

When you screw up apologize.

A good apology has 3 parts:
1. I’m sorry
2. It was my fault
3. How do I make it right? Most people skip that third part. That’s how can you tell sincerity.

Show gratitude, it’s very powerful!

Don’t complain; just work harder.

If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you if you live properly.

Just ignore everything people say and just pay attention to what they do.

The best definition I know of time well spent is to have helped a lot of other people.

To all fellow entrepreneurs, people who want to work at a start-up and my current/future employees you MUST read this!!!

So there’s been a lot of talk on the blogosphere of a particular post written by Jason Calacanis. He wrote a great blog post about how to save money running a start up.

On the list he wrote, “Fire people who are not workaholics. Come on folks, this is startup life, it’s not a game. Don’t work at a startup if you’re not into it–go work at the post office or Starbucks if you want balance in your life.”

Then TechCrunch, wrote a blog post entitled, Calacanis fires people who have a life, which caused an unbelievable uproar.

Calacanis later renamed his post, Fire people who don’t love their work, which I couldn’t agree more with.

Here is what I believe:

I’m working. In fact, if I’m conscious, I’m working. That’s largely because it doesn’t seem like ‘work’.

If I’m doing this for fun (and I am) then I might as well be doing something remarkable/great/worth doing/worth talking about.

Otherwise, why bother? And if you’re going to join MyBodyTutor, why bother unless, you want to be part of a company that is doing something remarkable/great/worth doing?

Then TechCrunch editor and founder Michael Arrington, wrote a follow up post that I happen to love.

Arrington writes, “Startups that hire incorrectly fail. They don’t probably fail, or maybe fail. They just plain fail. You must hire the right people. In particular, the early employees must be perfect. This is more important than anything else, including the product or business idea.”

I couldn’t agree more!

Then he writes, “The most important part of hiring correctly is to not hire the wrong people. The second most important part of hiring correctly is to hire the right people. What that means is that it is better to not hire anyone at all if you can’t find the right person. And if your startup fails, all the perks, time off and general coddling isn’t all that useful.”

“So who are the right people and who are the wrong people? It’s not that hard to tell. The right people are the ones that really, really want to work with you. You can tell they’re excited to be a part of the team.”

“I’ll take the fired up warrior any day over the more experienced but otherwise meek alternative. Skills can be learned quickly on the job. But if you aren’t already the kind of person who’ll just get the job done no matter what, you’ll likely never be.

Warning signs to look out for during an interview: people who care about status symbols like titles, people who resent the success of others, people who act like they’re doing you a favor by talking to you. And people who want to negotiate salary endlessly but couldn’t care less about the stock options.”

Again, this is all so true. I want you to be thrilled to be a part of the MyBodyTutor team. I want you to be so excited you can hardly contain yourself. And I really, truly, mean that. This isn’t a game. It’s my life. (And yours too!) I’m not looking to build another me-too company. I have a vested interest in seeing my company succeed and so will you.

I have spent countless hours and dollars on my company. Hours I can’t get back. Hours I could’ve been building something else. But I chose to do this. I want to build something worth building. Something that will go down in business books.

Continue reading “To all fellow entrepreneurs, people who want to work at a start-up and my current/future employees you MUST read this!!!”